I have found over the past few
years that busy family times need to be focused on the relationship
building of togetherness in a home and not as much on the organized/cleanliness
side of things. The kids grow up so fast
and I am finally beginning to really focus on the happenings and not the perfection of
things. Maybe that just means that I’m
getting old— but my mind refuses to agree to that premise!
Of course, relationship building does not equate to total chaos. Organization and cleanliness are also starting point for creating balance, frugality and, ultimately, more free time
For years we have tried a variety of chore/allowance programs and I have
read umpteen books on the value of regular family jobs, payment vs. expectation,
teaching children about money and so on.
Each one seemed to work for a brief period of time, but only with much
nagging and bribing. When I saw this
post (http://www.71toes.com/2012/11/a-money-system-that-works.html)
on my favorite blog I thought this well tuned system would be worth a try. Shawni is the mother of 5 children ages 7-16
and is very active in their lives along with her own endeavors. I find her to be honest on her blog and very
forthright with daily activities. She is
one of 6 children of LDS authors Richard and Linda Eyre, who write books on
parenting. I have really enjoyed their
books and find that they are a family that is quite out of the box.
So, once I read that post, I bought the book by the Eyres
called the “Entitlement Trap.” So far it
has been a slow, but well worth it, read. Much of the information can also be found on the
website http://www.valuesparenting.com
under family economy. This gives a great
overview of what they did with their children and now the children are doing
with the grandchildren. Of course, we
tailored everything to our own needs…..
Jason and I feel that kids need to learn basic chores along with
how to handle money. So we created this chore chart for each of the kids.
This has changed for Daniel as he has grown (at the beginning his was
basic like Taylor’s) and now the basics like homework and reading are part of
what he does on his own. The kids check
off each box 5 days a week and then ask Jason or I to initial the bottom of
each day (Saturday's are often make up days).
At the end of the week—usually
Sunday nights after dinner—we have a family meeting where we discuss the
happenings of the upcoming week, play a game or have a talk about whatever
needs to be addressed. At this meeting
each of the kids are paid a certain amount for completing their tasks. We have found that this is much like a ‘time
card’ for a job and is teaching the skills of record keeping, budgeting and
money handling. Taylor gets paid $5 per
week and Daniel $12 (we pay his age, but expect that this cover most of his
expenses not relating to needs.)
Taylor will be paid her age when she turns 12.
For every blank box they pay us (Taylor 25 cents and Daniel 50
cents.) The kids then put 10% into a
giving jar for church, 20% into a saving jar to be deposited into the bank and
70% for spending. They have really come
far in figuring out these percentages, being faithful givers at church and making regular deposits into thair savings account at our local bank.
When the kids want something, I simply tell
them to get the money from their spending jar.
For instance, Daniel wants another pair of flip flops. He already has a perfectly good pair, so he
would need to pay for the next pair on his own.
He will also budget for going to the movies and icecream shop, buying
digital do-dads and concessions at swim meets, etc. In the fall, we will give him a set amount of
money for school clothes and if he needs more will have to use his own money. Already, we found that he is looking in the
off-season clothes for the fall and at the clearance racks. Good skills to begin developing.
Phase two for our family was this chart:
It is for pay chores when the kids feel like they would
like to make a few extra bucks (kind of like an extra job). They
have both taken advantage of this when something big comes up. When Daniel wanted a Kindle, my house was
spotless for weeks! The kids choose a
pay chore and mark the chart. During our
family meeting, we pay the allocated bonus for a job well done. Lately, I’ve also asked them to choose a pay
chore on Sunday night and have it completed sometime that week. They recognize now all the work that goes
into keeping things up around here and appreciate the extra pay.
This system has worked thus far but is not without bumps in the road.
Some weeks the kids completely forget their charts and earn no money and
end up taking church and saving money from their spending (they are expected to
add to those jars every week even if they didn’t earn anything). It is difficult in the beginning to remind a
child to save up their spending money for future things, but it doesn’t seem
long for the concept to sink in.
Daniel
and I have had some great discussions about budgeting—and that’s a plus. One thing that will change soon is the giving
of actual cash to Daniel. Having $12 cash
on hand each week is a lot and so we have discussed having a checking register
to “deposit” his for- the- future spending money (like school clothes and such)
into each week. We haven’t quite worked
out the details, but for now seeing the actual cash in hand has been a good
thing.
So, that’s what has worked for our family. This year it really helped with piano
practice for both kids and picking up the house at night. They see real consequences for their actions
(or in-action) and reward for a job well done.
On our end, we did take time to teach them what we expected out of a
clean room or bathroom (the kids have swapped off cleaning their bathroom each
week for years.) It is also hard to see the hurt when they don’t accomplish
their tasks or don’t have enough money set aside for something they want. But it has paid off and we don’t see that
nearly as often as we did at the beginning.
We also LOVE our family meetings—yes, even the kids. This week we have been talking about goals each morning before school and will have a goal setting session on Sunday night followed up by going to the ice cream parlor and sharing our summer goals with each other. Fun!
Each family has its own ideas for chores and allowance. This has worked for us. We continue to tweak things (like for the summer), but in parenting and life flexibility is the name of the game. In the end, goal for all of us is responsible,
helpful kids who learn to handle money well and feel empowered as an active
part of the family.
