Where has summer gone?

It never ceases to amaze me that the three months of summer go by so quickly.  I mean folks have always said that as the kids got older that time will fly, but I didn't really understand that axiom until this year.

Summer did indeed fly by, but it sure was a good one.  Between swimming, visitors, camping, a relaxing trip to the WA coast, backyard BBQ's and a whole host of friends over every day to play....its no wonder that the new school year has arrived. 

While I know that I have LOTS of summer updating to do, today I will focus on these two youngin's:

 

How can it be that Taylor is entering upper elementary school as a 4th grader and that Daniel is now a 7th grader?  Boy howdy, were they excited for school this year. 

 

Taylor, although she says she wasn't ready, promptly woke us up at 5:30am so that we didn't oversleep.  Within 1/2 hour she was ready to go and even had her bed made and room 'tidy', as she likes to say.  She was greeted on the playground by all of her closest friends, shining in their new school outfits and loaded down with backpacks and extra school supplies.

 

 



We chose a new fangled, old fashioned way of curling her hair before heading off to be the night before (ignore that disaster in the background):

Yep......socks (clean, of course).  Roll them into slightly damp hair, tie and, voila, beautiful soft curls!  Needless to day, she was beyond thrilled.

Daniel, ever the budding teen, who was equally or more so excited for school (mainly due to his great math teacher) played it cool with his messenger bag, tennis gear (he's the Jr High Girls Tennis Manager) and oboe.  Barely allowing us to stop the car to unload his bike in front of the school, he was off to the land of 7 different teachers, his own locker and independence. 

And so it goes....a new school year....now I'm off to tidy up the house and fill in at work.  Can't wait for good conversation over chocolate cookies this afternoon.  Happy first day of school!

A Chore/Allowance System That Is Working

 I have found over the past few years that busy family times need to be focused on the relationship building of togetherness in a home and not as much on the organized/cleanliness side of things.  The kids grow up so fast and I am finally beginning to really focus on the happenings and not the perfection of things.  Maybe that just means that I’m getting old— but my mind refuses to agree to that premise!

Of course, relationship building does not equate to total chaos.  Organization and cleanliness are also starting point for creating balance, frugality and, ultimately, more free time    For years we have tried a variety of chore/allowance programs and I have read umpteen books on the value of regular family jobs, payment vs. expectation, teaching children about money and so on.  Each one seemed to work for a brief period of time, but only with much nagging and bribing.  When I saw this post (http://www.71toes.com/2012/11/a-money-system-that-works.html) on my favorite blog  I thought this well tuned system would be worth a try.  Shawni is the mother of 5 children ages 7-16 and is very active in their lives along with her own endeavors.  I find her to be honest on her blog and very forthright with daily activities.  She is one of 6 children of LDS authors Richard and Linda Eyre, who write books on parenting.  I have really enjoyed their books and find that they are a family that is quite out of the box. 

So, once I read that post, I bought the book by the Eyres called the “Entitlement Trap.”  So far it has been a slow, but well worth it, read.  Much of the information can also be found on the website http://www.valuesparenting.com under family economy.  This gives a great overview of what they did with their children and now the children are doing with the grandchildren.  Of course, we tailored everything to our own needs…..

Jason and I feel that kids need to learn basic chores along with how to handle money.  So we created this chore chart for each of the kids. 

 

This has changed for Daniel as he has grown (at the beginning his was basic like Taylor’s) and now the basics like homework and reading are part of what he does on his own.  The kids check off each box 5 days a week and then ask Jason or I to initial the bottom of each day (Saturday's are often make up days). 

At the end of the week—usually Sunday nights after dinner—we have a family meeting where we discuss the happenings of the upcoming week, play a game or have a talk about whatever needs to be addressed.  At this meeting each of the kids are paid a certain amount for completing their tasks.  We have found that this is much like a ‘time card’ for a job and is teaching the skills of record keeping, budgeting and money handling.  Taylor gets paid $5 per week and Daniel $12 (we pay his age, but expect that this cover most of his expenses not relating to needs.)  Taylor will be paid her age when she turns 12. 

For every blank box they pay us (Taylor 25 cents and Daniel 50 cents.)    The kids then put 10% into a giving jar for church, 20% into a saving jar to be deposited into the bank and 70% for spending.  They have really come far in figuring out these percentages, being faithful givers at church and making regular deposits into thair savings account at our local bank. 

 When the kids want something, I simply tell them to get the money from their spending jar.  For instance, Daniel wants another pair of flip flops.  He already has a perfectly good pair, so he would need to pay for the next pair on his own.  He will also budget for going to the movies and icecream shop, buying digital do-dads and concessions at swim meets, etc.  In the fall, we will give him a set amount of money for school clothes and if he needs more will have to use his own money.  Already, we found that he is looking in the off-season clothes for the fall and at the clearance racks.  Good skills to begin developing. 

Phase two for our family was this chart:

 

It is  for pay chores when the kids feel like they would like to make a few extra bucks (kind of like an extra job).  They have both taken advantage of this when something big comes up.  When Daniel wanted a Kindle, my house was spotless for weeks!  The kids choose a pay chore and mark the chart.  During our family meeting, we pay the allocated bonus for a job well done.  Lately, I’ve also asked them to choose a pay chore on Sunday night and have it completed sometime that week.  They recognize now all the work that goes into keeping things up around here and appreciate the extra pay.

This system has worked thus far but is not without bumps in the road.  Some weeks the kids completely forget their charts and earn no money and end up taking church and saving money from their spending (they are expected to add to those jars every week even if they didn’t earn anything).  It is difficult in the beginning to remind a child to save up their spending money for future things, but it doesn’t seem long for the concept to sink in. 

Daniel and I have had some great discussions about budgeting—and that’s a plus.  One thing that will change soon is the giving of actual cash to Daniel.  Having $12 cash on hand each week is a lot and so we have discussed having a checking register to “deposit” his for- the- future spending money (like school clothes and such) into each week.  We haven’t quite worked out the details, but for now seeing the actual cash in hand has been a good thing. 

So, that’s what has worked for our family.  This year it really helped with piano practice for both kids and picking up the house at night.  They see real consequences for their actions (or in-action) and reward for a job well done.  On our end, we did take time to teach them what we expected out of a clean room or bathroom (the kids have swapped off cleaning their bathroom each week for years.) It is also hard to see the hurt when they don’t accomplish their tasks or don’t have enough money set aside for something they want.  But it has paid off and we don’t see that nearly as often as we did at the beginning. 

We also LOVE our family meetings—yes, even the kids.  This week we have been talking about goals each morning before school and will have a goal setting session on Sunday night followed up by going to the ice cream parlor and sharing our summer goals with each other.  Fun!

Each family has its own ideas for chores and allowance.  This has worked for us.  We continue to tweak things (like for the summer), but in parenting and life flexibility is the name of the game.  In the end, goal for all of us is responsible, helpful kids who learn to handle money well and feel empowered as an active part of the family. 

Ostriches, Skating and Silliness

My in-laws used to raise ostriches.  Their pen was sandwiched in between our ancient mobile hone and theirs.  I would watched them each day walk about on their long, gangly legs and then suddenly drop down, spread their wings and do this odd dance.  It was amazing to see this display of wings, feathers and fluidity come from these birds that are otherwise so awkward. 

As I've watched my kids grow and learn over the past 11 years, I have come to name each phase of their lives.  Some phases are named after a particular age-appropriate obsession (dinosaurs, dolls, blankets, etc).  Others reflect a stage or particular extracurricular interest. 

Daniel, on the cusp of turning 12, has entered the ostrich phase.  His limbs are growing so fast that he lopes around the house like an over-sized bird.  His latest obsession is running and jumping up to touch the ceiling (gotta love the popcorn ceiling raining down on the carpet) or the door jam.  Its like a good excuse to stretch those growing limbs to their fullest extent. 

As flexible and double-jointed as ever, its been amazing to watch him curl up into his bed at night and cover all those appendages with his blanket.  How he tucks them in and hunkers down is beyond me. 

And for athletics, well.....I think once he gets control of those long, lean legs and super long arms, he will find his niche.  For now, I think ostrich when I see him run.  Arms flailing about and legs outstretched.  Nothing quite going in the right direction.  But somehow he gets there...

As a mom who is trying her best to live in the present and soak up the "everyday,"  I am amazed at this boy.  He grows and learns and recreates in this body that doesn't quite fit.  Not yet, anyway.  Soon enough, those long limbs will develop muscles and carry him far away from me.  So for now, I'll enjoy the jumping, the stretching, the cuddling and the gangli-ness of it all.  For someday, it will all look just as God has planned.  For now I will enjoy the ostrich phase.  And constantly look for jeans on sale--slim, long.

On another note, we enjoyed an afternoon of ice skating in Great Falls.  The kids were real troopers on that slick surface and didn't even complain when the bruises started showing up.  You should see Taylor's knees.

And the best part of all is the encouragement and love that we gave to each other (while Jason took pictures because his ankle was bothering him)...

Later that night the kids decided they needed to bake.  Peanut Butter Chocolate Swirls were on their mind and silliness in their heart.  With no help from me, they executed this recipe quite well with no eggs or gluten...it must have been the outfits...

Look at that serious face...

Love the bandana, T!  O, yes, and the teamwork. 

Cross Country Skiing

Since we live in a four season climate, Jason and I promised each other years ago that we would take advantage of the area throughout the year.  While I love to downhill ski, the cost is quite prohibitive for a regular outing.  So, when we moved to Montana, we sought out a good ski swap and outfitted ourselves in cross-country ski gear.  Little did we know that there were so many styles of cross country, let alone gear choices.  Once we were outfitted (Taylor started out in a sled behind us) we made a point to get out 3-4 times each year.  We tend to drive west tot he Rockies as far are we can and then ski a mountain road.  The tracks of a car seem to be a good width for our ski's, or for a more back country experience, Jason will break trail for us. 

So, on New Year's day, we took out our gear only to find that Daniel had now taken over my ski's and Taylor had moved into Daniels old boots.  It didn't deter us, though, and we enjoyed a nice outing (with me on foot) on the west fork of the Teton road. 

Now, as a woman, I would have stopped driving about 300 yards back.  However, men think differently and live on the edge, so, if you look closely, you wills ee Jason;s truck completely stuck.  "Don't worry," he said, "let's ski and then we'll dig out."  So we did...

We skied into Mills Falls campground and did a wee bit of cross-country ski downhill.  Fun!

What a good lookin' group of skiers!  We even tried to make a fire...

By days end, we were all a bit frigid and ready to head home for a nice cup of hot chocolate.

But not before digging out the truck!

Post Holiday Season Post

There is a blizzard outside today.  Actually for 2 days and maybe into number 3.  The numbers are racking up:  8-9 inches of snow, 5 degrees, 30+ mph wind, 2 kids bundled up and off to school, and 1 great husband who shoveled the drifts and packed down the driveway so I could get out.  All in all its the perfect time to blog about Christmas!

We are big Advent people around here.  Lutherans in general really like the buildup of the Advent season and then pour on the emotion on Christmas Eve as we sing "Silent Night" by candlelight.  Our family Advent preparations include a daily devotion, lighting an Advent wreath (at least every Sunday), reading Christmas books regularly, baking goodies for our friends and neighbors, cutting down a tree from the forest, and the list could go on and on.  With the kids active in school and other organizations, Christmas is also the season for parties, concerts and Christmas plays.

This year our primary baking included:

Magic Bars

Ritz Mint Cookies

Santa Cookies

Of course decorating the tree is an important occasion.  Jason and I hang the lights while the kids sort through the ornaments.  At this point, most of them are homemade or hold some special memory.  On certain years, we have a second cowboy tree.

Taylor ready for the school play

Daniel all spiffed up and ready for the play

6th Grade Band- Daniel oboe

It's amazing how far they come in a few months!

Taylor was in the chorus during the play.  She had lots of fun fiddling with her bow on the dress that Grandma made.

Daniel and Delaynie dance during the play

Searching for Mom and Dad.  Those lights are bright!

How they grow!

Taylor's favorite gift- bear hat.

Daniel's fav gift:  drafting set

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep, Christmas is over and New Year's Eve was spent dancing to the entertainment at Times Square (on tv.)  Overall it was a relaxing break and good family time.  We are thankful to move into a new year with health, love and plenty of energy.  Happy New Year!